Well... I have finally reach "that" point. The point in your life where you finally have that "ah-ha" moment and realize that "you" are important and that you have been neglecting yourself all this time. Those of you who know me well, know that I have always been concerned with my weight and that over the years it has just seemed to spiral out of control.
I know that I am an emotional eater and I also know that I take on too many other peoples problems and pain. I can literally feel other peoples pain, sorrow, depression, and frustration. My heart aches and my head spins. I just want to "fix" it for them so they don't "hurt" anymore.
As of now... I weigh 100 pounds more than I did in high school (gulp). It is so hard to say those words out loud, let alone write them down for the world to see. It is not something that I am proud of and I do not feel comfortable in my own skin. Yet there is something comforting about actually saying it and getting out in the open.
These past couple of years have been really difficult on me. I have learned a lot about family, friends, and relationships. I have learned that you cannot change people, no matter how much you help them, they have to be the ones who want to change. It just enables them to make that change. I have learned that people I thought cared about me really didn't and ones that I thought didn't, actually did. I have found friendships in unlikely places and have found a comfort in not being "perfect".
I used to think that having my house emaculate, my children well-dressed, and having them in all sorts of activites meant that I was being a "good mom". I spent SO much time worring about EVERYONE else that I have totally forgotten about myself. Now my thoughts have completely changed in that matter. My house is messy (or as we call it "lived-in"), my daughter definitely has a style all her own, and my kids are involved in the things that "they" are interested in. I have made the realization that I need to take better care of myself. I need to set that example for my kids. They need to know that they need to be in the number one spot when it comes to priorities in their own lives. I need to set that example for them. I need to set that standard for myself.
I have finally made the decision to start putting myself first. Time to become comfortable in my own skin, time to let my personality shine, time to find myself again.
My journey to mental and physical health begins today, wish me luck!
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